A Touch of Kindness Goes A Long Way
A Touch Of Kindness Goes A Long Way
A wide smile etched across his face when he hears the words “Assalamualaikum Encik Abu, Ernie masuk ya,” and he cranes out his neck towards his house entrance, even though he recognises the familiar sweet voice that he speaks to every day…
“Waalaikumsalam, marilah masuk,” Abu Alias Man Jalil, 89, responds wispily – a senior who has been getting home visits from Lions Befrienders Home Personal Care Plus (HPC+) personnel Ernie Haryanti Aman since the year 2023.
It was an endearing sight to watch as Abu’s smile grew wider as Ernie walked in, set some snacks on the coffee table, and started her routine.
Caring Above And Beyond
While chatting with Abu about the recent harsh weather, Abu’s favourite pisang goreng stall that she just came from, and other things she did over the day, Ernie takes his vitals.
“Ernie’s company is what I value most, apart from her utmost care in making sure that I live well in a comfortable environment,” said Abu adding that Ernie’s service doesn’t only stop at checking in on him and his vitals…
Ernie assists Abu make payments for his bills including rental, utilities, and the likes. She also arranges transportation for his doctor appointments, reads out his letters, explains new government schemes that would benefit him, buys groceries, laundry, and more!
“I would be very lost without her. She goes above and beyond her duty and is always with a smile. She would even go out of her way to buy me snacks that I love. I know I won’t be able to repay her kindness, only God can,” said Abu softly while watching Ernie sort out the living room for him.
A Glimmer Of Sunshine In Times Of Despair
Abu further explained how his life was before and how it transformed when his health deteriorated…
“I used to be active at the Lions Befrienders Active Ageing Centre @ Clementi 366/367 and attend their activities, talks, and other interesting programmes. Also frequently visited the nearby mosque to pray and also meet friends. As the years went by, I started using the motorised scooter to move around as my legs were not as strong as before,” he shared, pausing now and then to catch his breath.
He said once his condition didn’t get any better, the AAC staff recommended that he be enrolled in the HPC programme in the year 2020 so that there would be regular visits by a caregiver to tend to him and do some light housekeeping.
“I was feeling very down and lonely as I couldn’t go out like before. This lady, Radiana Ahmad from HPC who used to come and assist me changed my perspective whenever she came by. Her presence was a ray of sunshine since I was alone at home. Radiana made my house feel comfortable and did my groceries as well,” said Abu, adding that he looked forward to her visits.
Enhanced Care With The HPC+ Pilot Programme
Later as his heart condition and breathlessness became worse, he couldn’t do much of his daily activities by himself. He needed more assistance apart from the one that HPC provided.
Coincidentally the same year the HPC+ pilot programme was introduced, and he was enrolled in it to get extra care that it provided, and Ernie stepped into his life to assist him.
Ernie chimed in saying that he suffered a heart attack recently and while he was recuperating at the hospital, the doctor suggested that Abu to be institutionalised at a nursing home where he would get around-the-clock care.
“He was there for two to three weeks, but he kept on calling me to get him out as he felt that he couldn’t be there anymore. I managed to track his next of kin and spoke to his son-in-law about this matter and we agreed to bring him home,” said Ernie adding that Abu, while frail, still wanted to feel independent and be at his own home.
Later as his heart condition and breathlessness became worse, he couldn’t do much of his daily activities by himself. He needed more assistance apart from the one that HPC provided.
Coincidentally the same year the HPC+ pilot programme was introduced, and he was enrolled in it to get extra care that it provided, and Ernie stepped into his life to assist him.
A Reliable Pillar of Support
“I miss being able to do everything by myself. As you age, you will be robbed of your independence, and I didn’t want that reminder by staying at a nursing home. I want to be here, and Ernie doesn’t make me feel incapable but always encourages me with her positive words. I’m just glad I can still shower and eat by myself,” said Abu adding that he fills up his time listening to the radio.
Having worked all his life, first as a contractor who fixes electronic items, and later as a cleaner, Abu misses the hustle and bustle of working, going to the mosque and AAC and even having his regular coffee with his friends at the nearby kopitiam.
“It must be frustrating for the seniors to accept the reality that they need assistance and can’t do much by themselves. So, we have to be empathetic and support them emotionally as well,” said Ernie.
She makes a few trips a week to Abu’s house and calls him daily to ask if he has eaten, reminds him of his doctor’s appointments to take his medications, and always assures him that she is just a phone call away in case he needs her.
“It might sound cheesy, but I wake up every day looking forward to work. The seniors that I meet and care for, the feeling of fulfilment at the end of the day, and having a strong feeling of purpose in life – it drives me to do more! It is indeed a blessing to be a part of a senior’s life, especially making them feel comfortable and dignified during the last leg of their life” said Ernie, who has been with Lions Befrienders for about six years.
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